The stuff on TV falls into two broad categories: locally produced original programming, and translated programming from other countries. The translated stuff is always good for a laugh. Romanian TV producers love fourth-tier action stuff that never sees the air in the States: sub-Krull level fantasy, hilarious man-out-for-vengeance tales, etc. Sometimes you'll see some has-been like Steven Seagal doing a straight-to-foreign-video deal, but usually it's unknowns.
When I was searching for Steven Seagal images on Google, I learned that he plays guitar and has an album called Songs From the Crystal Cave. Deep, dude.
There are also a fair number of American television shows, like NCIS, Law & Order, CSI: Miami, etc. I never really understand the appeal of these to Romanian audiences, particularly as my understanding of Romanian has grown and I've realized how terrible the subtitles are. Some murderer says he never even met the dead guy, and David Caruso will take off his sunglasses and say, "You must think I'm some rookie fresh out of the academy who doesn't know his backside from a hole in the ground. Let me tell you something, scumbag: I know more about you than you know about you. So try again," and the subtitle underneath says, "I don't believe you." If you don't understand English, I don't know why you would bother.
The real gold is in the local programming. You have to ignore the junk: 75% of it is either soccer, or people talking about soccer because there's no soccer on. Like the rest of the world, Romania needs to just accept the fact that soccer is boring and sucks. There are also hours of talking-heads shows. In the States you get these talky pundit shows on Sunday mornings for a couple hours, but in Romania they run for three or four hours every single day.
But the gold nuggets in the pan are the talent shows. Our whole family sits down to watch each week's episode of Romania's Got Talent, which is exactly like the American and British versions right down to having a snarky super-critical judge, a pretty female judge who is nice to most everyone, and then a relatable audience-stand-in judge. It's a little more interesting than the American version, though, because I don't think there are any safety precautions. If some dude is balancing on top of a tower of seesaws juggling torches and machetes, I think he really might slice his arm off right on TV.
Even better is Sunday morning. I don't even know the name of this show, but it's my favorite thing on Romanian TV. Every week, a weird, shifting group of emcees host a bunch of people doing traditional Romanian folk music and folk dancing. Romania was stitched together between 1865 and 1918 out of a lot of smaller regions that each had their own unique songs, dances, and mode of dress. Today, every one of those regions has groups of people determined to keep those traditions alive. And on Sunday, they all go on TV. There's a live studio audience, which is fairly huge every week, all dressed in their Sunday best: suits and ties for the men, nice dresses for the women. They all sit respectfully or clap along to the music, and they all applaud for every group, even if historically their ancestors murdered the dancers' ancestors over goats. There's no competition element to it or anything, it's just one folk group after another coming out in semi-outlandish costumes to play simple music or dance simple dances, while hundreds of people in suits applaud politely. It's one of the most surreal, but also charming, things I've ever seen on TV.
No comments:
Post a Comment